Be the Well-Grounded mom
tweens & teens Love coming home to
you don't have a behavior problem.
you have a disconnection problem.
6 free conversation breakthroughs
What To Say When Your Teen Shuts Down
And You Feel Disconnected
You aren't the only one.
Parenting tweens and teens gets you:
The snark. The eye-rolls. The insistence that they are “FINE!!!” And the door slams?
Yes. It's common.
No. It's not your destiny for the next decade.
They don't behave this way to torture you.
They behave this way because they're struggling and don't have the skills to express the struggle.
Here's what nobody ever told you.
The part of the teen brain responsible for planning and good judgment isn't fully formed until their mid to late twenties.
They're not capable of the emotional regulation and communication skills you want from them. Yet.
I know this to be true: neither are most of us.
Nobody taught us these skills. Yet parents today need to model what was never modeled for us.
You aren't a bad mom and your teen isn't a bad kid.
These are just skills you never got.
And that's fixable.
You know the saying,”the best time to plant a tree was thirty years ago. The second best time is today.”
– karen patten, grassroots parenting
The same can be said for learning to empathize, validate, listen without fixing, and so much more.
You are not behind.
Your best time is today.
The Connection-First Path
You intuitively know it works.
You've done this before.
When you found the hoodie instead of nagging or blaming and the morning felt calm? That was connection-first parenting.
When you didn't lecture, you just listened and your teen put their phone down and talked? That was it too.
The hard part is getting there when you're at your wit's end. When your teen seems irritated by your very existence and is giving attitude. When you've tried almost everything and still feel completely lost.
The Connection-First Path gets you there more often.
And on purpose.
Giving Yourself Grace
Stop the exhaustion and doom Googling. Fill your cup so you can stop running on empty.
Managing Intense Emotions
Fewer blowups and calmer tones so you can have more predictable, peaceful days at home.
Grab a Quick Win Using the Connection-First Path
I put these mini-posts together to give you a quick but meaningful win – all before lasagne's out of the oven.
Each one shows you how and is quick and practical help, not a semester's worth of reading.
I needed this…
I couldn’t finish reading I was engulfed in tears.. you know exactly how my life is without even speaking with me… your truly a blessing and I thank you for writing this. Stay strong.
– Amy M.
This article was just what I needed
I love that you give moms permission to NOT overschedule. It seems like if they aren’t in 3 activities, you’re doing something wrong. My heart knows that’s not right and I’m so glad to hear another mom agrees! This was a breath of fresh air for this mama of 3 teens!
– Emily
Bless you for writing this…
Such a simple yet powerful lesson. I promise to try to remember it and do as you did – be present with my son when he needs it most.
– Drea S.
Welcome!
I'm Karen, and like many of you, I once found myself feeling like my kids deserved a much better mom. Comparing myself with other moms just made me feel like a failure. But I was determined to dive in and learn how to be a good mom – not perfect, mind you – but good (sometimes rockstar good if I do say so myself 😉). I've read, studied, trained as a parenting coach, and talked with therapists, educators, counselors, occupational therapists, speech therapists, anyone I could glean insight from.